There is no comment we can make worthy of this.
Lest We Forget
8 November 2020
Category: Fun Story
10 Facts About Chocolate
26 October 2020
With a scientific name translating as ‘Food Of The Gods’, having been eaten for centuries and a taste loved by most people, chocolate is actually a fascinating substance.
1 Its First Shipment Was Mistaken For Sheep Poo
We might well have enjoyed the delights of chocolate earlier in this country, if it wasn’t for a case of mistaken identity. A Spanish shipment of goods was seized off the coast in the 16th century. But when they opened the sacks of cocoa beans they were mistaken for sheep poo and destroyed.
2 Chocolate, Along With Coffee, Was Once Associated With Rebellion
King Charles felt threatened by the coffee and chocolate shops in 1660’s England. It had became a drink of the intellectuals and radicals, and he felt they would be meeting to plan subversion. Spain and France didn’t have this problem as there it was reserved as a drink for the privileged.
The insurance house Lloyd’s of London, actually started in a coffee shop.
3 Many Of Our Favourite Chocolate Bars Are 100 Years Old
Cadbury’s Flake, Fruit and Nut, and the crunchy bar date from the 1920’s. Mars Bar, Milky Way, KitKat, Maltesers, Aero and Smarties from the 1930’s. This was the golden era of chocolate creativity.
An interesting fact, is that the much loved Cadbury’s Cream egg, was actually a J.S. Fry’s product. It wasn’t branded Cadbury until much later.
4 Chocolate Consumption Dates Back 5000 Years
Archaeological evidence suggests that people from the Mayo-Chinchipe civilisation were ingestion cacao based products some 3000 years B.C. The Maya poeple were evidently consuming it as a drink between 250 and 850A.D. And it was very popular with the legendary Aztecs.
I suppose it was their version of quaffing champagne whilst on a day out at the races. A good cup of cocoa and a few human hearts being cut out.
5 White Chocolate Was Actually A Children’s Medicine
In Switzerland in the 1930’s, doctors tried to improve the health of young patients by giving them vitamin enriched milk. But the older kids thought milk babyish. The addition of cocoa butter resulted in the accidental invention of white chocolate.
6 The Claim That Chocolate Is An Aphrodisiac Is False
Damn, I always liked this one.
The Aztecs may have been the first on record to draw a link between the cocoa bean and an increase in sexual desire. Montezuma was reputed to have consumed the bean in large amounts to fuel his romantic trysts.
There are actually two chemicals in chocolate that do have an effect on sexual desire, tryptophan and phenylethylamine. The first is a building block of serotonin that sexual arousal chemical. The second a stimulant released when people fall in love.
Sadly scientists reckon that the amount in chocolate is so low as to have no discernible impact.
7 The Largest Cup Of Hot Chocolate Ever Made Was 1059.4 Gallons
It was produced to celebrate Three Kings Day and was achieved by the Municipio de Uruapan (Mexico), in Uruapan, Michoacán, Mexico. It contained 600kg of locally grown chocolate.
I bet that had enough tryptophan in to gets things rising.
8 The Most Expensive Chocolate Dessert
The Frrrozen Haute Chocolate, which costs an eye watering £12,000, was added to the menu New Yorks Serendipity 3 restaurant. Made in partnership with a luxury jeweller, the sundae uses a fine blend of 28 cocoas. Including 14 of the world’s most expensive. It is then decorated with 5 g of edible 23-carat gold, served in a goblet lined with edible gold. The base of the goblet is an 18-carat gold bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds.
The dessert is eaten with a gold and diamond spoon, which they graciously allow you to take home.
I should bloody well think they do at the price of a small car. I would want to be spoon fed it by Heidi Klum for that price.
9 Melts In The Mouth
Chocolate is the only edible substance to melt around 32°C , just below normal human body temperature. That’s the reason chocolate melts in your mouth.
The scientific name given to the tree that chocolate comes from is Theobroma cacao, means “food of the gods.”
The smell of chocolate supposedly increases theta brain waves, which triggers relaxation.
Chocolate has over 600 flavor compounds, while red wine has 200, it is actually quite a complex substance.
It takes approximately 400 beans to make a single pound of chocolate.
10 We Offer A Range Of Hot Chocolate Carts For Your Event
From our Victorian themed wedding carts, to a horse box for those outdoor events, you can have a range of themed offerings. All with our range of delicious drinking chocolate. Choose from everyone’s favourite Cadbury’s to the upmarket Charbonnel Et Walker.
All served with cream, marshmallows, sprinkles and a range of syrups to add extra flavour.
Disneyland Paris, And The Religion Of Football
21 October 2020
In the early days of being married, with a young child, like many couples money was tight. We were building the business, and not wanting to borrow money for non essentials, so holidays tended to be in the UK.
My wife however decided one day to book a coach trip to Disneyland Paris. We were spending all our working days on fairgrounds, so where do you want to go on holiday, a fairground obviously.
Bigger And Better
To be fair, it was bigger and better than anything I had encountered in the UK. Give the Americans their due, they have some nasty megalomaniacal habits, but they do entertainment ever so well.
The castle at the entrance sets the tone, you’re impressed before you even get in there. And it continues, the rides tend to be bigger and better. The thing that impressed me the most was how they were themed and integrated. It didn’t feel like a disparate collection of attractions thrown together, rather a fantasy land that had grown up, all part of the same organic creation.
The only minus points we personally gave it was when our daughter managed to get a splinter. The first aid ‘Lady’ was a typical Parisian, arrogant and rude, whilst looking like a fashion model.
Its funny though how people’s perceptions can be skewed. Not long after we had been another friend took his family. He hated it, all he kept saying was how overpriced everything was. That was a bit puzzling, as the food and drink wasn’t much more than most European tourist traps. Eventually we got to the bottom of it, they like to drink, a lot, a very lot. Where we had a pint and a glass of wine with our lunch, he had 6 pints, and his wife 6 double vodka and cokes. So where we barely noticed the price of booze, they were massively upset about it.
The Religion Of Football
Now, hailing from the little North East town of Middlesbrough, I have always supported the team. Not in the usually fanatical way of North Easterners in general, I mean I don’t go to the games or anything, but I always look their results up on a Saturday night.
Anyway, what my wife didn’t tell me when she booked this trip, was that the coach came from Sunderland, one of Middlesbrough’s main football rivals, and was basically full of a chapter of their supporters club.
My daughter being young and naive, and not realising the danger she was putting us in, managed to let everyone know we supported Boro.
Jeez, I was ribbed all the way there.
On the way back the driver decided to turn the BBC World Service on. Just moments before it switched to the football results. “And we are going to the Stadium of Light, where Sunderland have just scored against Middlesbrough” announced the bloody toffee nosed git on the radio.
Like one mass hive minded organism, the entire bus rose up and started chanting at me, “We have scored a goal, we have scored a goal.” the excitement was palpable.
A Bit Premature
It was also a bit premature.
“The score is now Sunderland 2, Middlesbrough 4.” Announced the reporter from the Stadium. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. They would either be good sports as those in the North East generally are. Or we were about to be ripped limb from limb.
As it was, the hive mind was still in evidence. The entire bus sat down together and looked out of the window. You could have heard a pin drop for most of the journey home.
When they dropped me off at home and the bus set off, I ran after it screaming “four two, four two”
Those at the back held up two fingers so they must have got part of the message.
In fairness I grew up in Sunderland, and it’s all part of a friendly rivalry between the Noth East teams.
But Boro are the best.
Cashless Conspiracy, And The Modern Fairground
16 October 2020
When the coronavirus struck, and everyone went crazy stripping the supermarket shelves, (still not sure why they needed so much toilet paper), a number of outlets switched to accepting card payments only. Ostensibly this was to cut down on the chances of the virus being spread by touching notes.
A number of friends of mine immediately and very vocally decided this had all been a conspiracy by the government to do away with cash and switch everybody to using cards. “They are gonna know exactly what we earn and we will have to pay more tax!”
Hmm, personally I think that it was a bloody extreme way to switch us all away from cash. Quite impressive the amount of cooperation they achieved getting virtually every country in the world to follow the same plan. And if everyone has to pay the correct rate of tax, well is that necessarily a bad thing?
Cashless Society
Some countries are already well ahead of us in the move away from cash. Sweden currently sees less than 1% of transactions made using cash. They have embraced the move to new technology wholeheartedly. In fact many establishments in the country no longer accept cash at all.
Admittedly there are some holdouts to this. Bjorn Eriksson, formerly the National police commissioner and president of Interpol objects on the principle that there are still a sizeable minority of people unable to cope with cards, the elderly, former convicts, tourists, immigrants. He explains that the banks don’t consider them to be ‘profitable’, so they will be left behind. The 71-year-old is the face of a national movement called Kontantupproret (Cash Rebellion)
Cashless Funfairs
So how would our industry cope with being cashless. Well, as we specialise in the corporate entertainment market and only supply private funfairs, we are basically cashless already. I personally don’t carry cash at all. My wife on the other hand won’t use her card. She goes to the supermarket, stops outside and withdraws money from the atm to pay for the shopping.
I visited Hull fair recently and stood talking to a friend at a sidestall. During the hour I was there, I would estimate that he took about 20% of his payments by card. So he was quite comfortable with cashless payments. He did mention that occasionally the lack of a reliable internet signal could cause problems, but by and large the system he had worked well. He also seemed to think that his takings actually increased as some customers would pay for additional plays by card, when they might not have done so with cash.
Cashless Festivals
Some festivals and theme parks have already made the switch. Clacton pier needs you to use its Fun Card system, where you load money on to its card and then use that for all the rides and attractions. Download festival on the other hand launched an RFID system in 2015, but scrapped it the following year due to technical issues causing problems for its vendors. So the technology might need to mature a little more before its ready for the big time.
Systems such as Izettle, invented in Sweden funnily enough, are now robust enough to be used on a large international scale. Indeed I pay one of my suppliers by card when I see him and he uses that system. I think at the minute from the funfair perspective, the limiting factor is going to be the mobile internet. I have been at major events, where when thousands of people are all carrying phones, the local cell towers can’t cope and its nearly impossible to connect.
This might be one of the cases where 5G is whats needed. If we can persuade people to stop burning the bloody towers down.
Personally I think that as more and more people move to using cashless payments the funfair industry is going to have no option but to follow suit.
Tough Mudder And Competition 20 Years Younger
6 October 2020
When you hit the age of 50, you start taking stock. I was enjoying life, business was successful, I had just attained my private pilots licence. I had a car I always wanted to own (Maserati Quattroporte) . But you also start looking at yourself. 50 is pretty much well over half way through your life. Although I was always reasonably fit, I had piled 2 or 3 stone extra on, all around my middle, the famous middle age spread.
My daughter brought it home when she remarked, you know what dad, your overweight, your cloths need an update, and when you drive your Maserati you look like you have stolen it. Bloody cheek, but she did have a point. I took the plunge and signed up with a local gym. My wife was already working out there, and had really toned up over about 18 months.
I started with some running and gym work. TBH I found it a bit boring and was struggling with motivation. At my better halfs suggestion, I tried some of the high intensity training classes. Being the only guy amongst probably 20 woman could have been intimidating but I thought what the heck.
The first one nearly killed me, I came out struggling to breath and wanting to throw up. But after a few weeks I found them bearable, and slowly upped my workrate.
Mates With Your Daughters Mates
Now, its a funny thing but for some reason I am mates with my daughters friends. I think a nice car, pilots licence and knowing things like how to tie a bow tie grants me a small level of coolness.
One of them was a but of a gym rat and we got talking about exercise regimes. He mentioned that he always fancied doing a tough mudder. After talking about it he challenged me to do one with him, 10 miles and 25 obstacles.
The rest of the family thought this was hilarious, he is 20 years younger than me, and they all kept telling me I would have a heart attack.
Thing is, I don’t like losing. So after accepting the challenge I upped my work rate determined to put a good showing in.
The Tough Mudder
On the day, I have to say it was one of the best things I have experienced. The course was tough, as were many of the obstacles, and in truth you couldn’t treat it as an actual race, as many of the obstacles required team work to get over.
It got mildly annoying when I completed an obstacle to turn around and find Kieren looking back a the obstacle. “What you doing”, “Oh looking for you”, your looking the wrong bloody way mate, I am in front of you not behind!
Mid way round I slipped on a rope and broke a finger in 3 places. I wasn’t really aware of this until a couple of days later as I think the adrenaline kept the pain at bay.
One of the obstacles was a low frame you had to climb under with wires hanging down, touch one and you received a 10,000 volt jolt of electricity. All you could hear was “CRACK”, aaargh, it was hilarious, or it was until you were the one screaming.
Arctic Enema
Mid way round we were starting to flag a bit, when we came to the Arctic Enema. A skip full of ice and water that you slid into, then had to swim underwater to clear the obstacle. The shock was incredible, but once we climbed out and started to run it felt like every atom in your body was on fire, totally energised we felt almost brand new.
The final obstacle was a marquee you ran through, full of hanging electrical wires that were impossible to avoid. We set off neck and neck, I chose a central path that give me shocks both sides of the body. Kieren tried to take them all down one side. As I made it through I turned back just in time to see him fall down. I looked at him, looked at the finish line 30 ft away, and of course ran over the finish line before coming back to help him!
Hide And Seek With Mr Beast
27 September 2020
Mr Beast
Jimmy Donaldson who goes by the name Mr Beast is a 21 year old famous YouTube star. Reaching fame for his expensive stunts and philanthropy, he has over 34 million subscribers to his YouTube channel.
Mr Beast is no stranger to accompanying his stunts and challenges with a hefty price tag reward, his latest stunt involved the well-known game Hide and Seek, an abandoned amusement park and a 70K cash prize. Imagine playing a game of hide and seek with Mr Beast and coming home 70K richer!!!
The Game
10 content creators was chosen to play hide and seek with Mr Beast. Each contestant had their own face cam and walkie talkies. The aim was for them to hide somewhere in the abandoned run down theme park. The whole video had an eerie hunger game feel about it. On the video you see that Mr Beast tracked down three competitors. Then told the remaining 7 that they had an alarm in each of their backpack’s that could not be turned off. Mr Beast then introduced the option to close down different parts of the theme park. Forcing the remaining contestants in hiding to be forced out of the park and having to hide in new places.
Mr Beast looked everywhere in the theme park eliminating contestants as he went along. Looking under arcade cabinets, around the back of old fairground rides and underneath them. Even in the attack of buildings.
After 4 hours of the game Mr Beast finally crowned the winner and handed over the cash price!
Other Videos
Mr Beast is no stranger to using theme parks for his youtube pranks. In August he launched a video ‘Last To Leave Roller Coaster Wins £20,000 challenge’. This is a pretty much self-explanatory title. The video shows a group of lads sitting on a rather large roller coaster car. For around about 3 hours. With some members throwing in the towel every few rounds of the ride no doubt due to sickness and tiredness.
Alcoholic Candy Floss ***NEW***
23 September 2020
We are pleased to announce the launch of our new range of alcoholic candy floss. The fabulous fluffy treat you all love, but infused with actual drinks such as rum, vodka, brandy etc. We are launching a range of cocktail inspired flavours, along with spirit inspired drinks, and also specialty candy floss such as for gender reveal parties.
Oh, and if you are daring enough, our special rum infused halloween floss, garnished with real edible insects.
Available on our online store our new floss is definitely not for kids.
With the events industry being pretty much closed down, due to a global viral pandemic in case you didn’t know. We have been left with lots of spare time to try out all those brilliant ideas we had, but which we never seemed to find the time for. First we produced a range of new and quirky carts ready for when we are allowed events again. Then we have totally rebuilt all our crazy golf systems. And finally we got round to experimenting with various recipes to produce alcoholic candy floss.
Cool Cosmo Flavour
The initial fruits of our labour this cool cosmo inspired cocktail, infused with vodka, and flavoured with cranberry and lime. Pictured here in a vivid blue colour, but like all of our candy floss supplied one of a range of colours.
Custom Printed Edible Label
Our range of gourmet candy floss supplied with a custom printed labels in the top. Having your choice of lettering/graphics/colours and printed on rice paper using edible ink, so it can be eaten.
Perfect Pina Colada
With infused rum and cocktail flavour this is the classic Caribbean taste. Perfect for weddings, parties and events, supplied in either boxes of 24 tubs (1 litre in size) or a presentation pack of 4 for sending out as gifts or thank you presents.
Magic Margarita
Cool Margarita with tequila, and lime. A refreshing take on the classic cocktail.
Sex On The Beach
On of the wilder named cocktails, Infused vodka, peach, OJ and cranberry. This one is always popular, if only for the name.
Brandy For Hero’s
If you are less of a cocktail type and more a connoisseur of the spirit world then our range of spirit inspired flavours are just for you. As Samuel Boswell once remarked, the man who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy. Infused with a fine brandy to add a subtle aftertaste to the lips.
Prosecco
Add a touch of class with prosecco flavoured (and infused) candy floss. This makes an ideal wedding favour, or treat for your guests.
Trick Or Treat, We DARE You To Tackle It
This is one hardcore candy floss. In a spiced pumpkin rum flavour, with a dusting of cinnamon, and garnished with actual edible insects such as crickets and mealworms, which you don’t actually see until after you open the tub. A great trick or treat prank for your friends.
Gender Reveal Candy Floss
One of our favourite lines. A mix of pink and blue candy floss for gender reveal parties. The edible label in the top of the candy floss offers a surprise when turned over. The reverse of the label is custom printed with the name and gender of the new baby.
All of our flavours are available in boxes of 24 tubs or in sleek black presentation boxes with 4 mixed trial flavours. Ideal for a gift or stocking filler.
Its Never Too Late, End Disability Hate
18 September 2020
Over the years we have carried out a number of corporate jobs, where we have had to brand the photo booth for a client. This can range from a single sticker on the side of a retro booth, to a complete vinyl wrap. Usually they are for Christmas parties or sales promotions, but we did one job that was totally different. This time it was an anti discrimination drive to help end disability hate.
Disability Video Booth
We were contracted to supply a fully wrapped video booth for a North East police force. This was to visit a number of libraries and community centres. This was to allow people to talk about nasty experiences that had been due to their disabilities.
We had one of our regular photo booths fully wrapped by a local company we use. We also extended it and removed the seat. This would allow wheelchair users to access the booth, and we added an uprated microphone system to the unit. All of our booths have video capabilities, but as this was designed to capture their stories we improved the mike systems.
Stott Him On The Heed
The first day we operated was I think Sunderland library. I turned up and set the booth up, and was joined by a couple of females P.C.’s that would be staying with me for the event.
The first client was a young lad. He stood in the booth and asked me what he was supposed to say. I explained that if he had experienced anything nasty he should talk about it.
“Well I was picked on a couple of weeks ago by a lad, should I say that?”
Definitely I replied,
“Then I picked a brick up and stotted it off his heed, should I say that?”
Erm, I think I will get this lady PC to talk to you as I am not sure how that will go down.
For those Southerners that haven’t encountered the North East dialects. Basically he was confessing to smacking his tormentor over the head with a brick.
The PC seemed to think he would be OK, as we weren’t taking names in the data and he left his story. I was a bit worried as over the day we had about 20 visitors. Now usually we have a couple of hundred go through a booth at a wedding or something. So this looked terrible. But the Police Officers seemed over the moon at the response. I guess the client being happy was all that counted.
Further Promotion
Looking back on the internet to see if there was anything mentioning the initiative, as it was back in about 2013, I discovered that the Northumberland Police force had actually posted a number of the video clips on Youtube.
They should be watched as some of them are heartbreaking.
I spent a considerable amount of time with the female police teams in the various towns we visited. At one location we had a fairly high ranking officer down. We were getting on really well when she received a phone call and told me she had to rush off. I did see her the next day and she explained that there had been an incident with a guy running amok with a knife. An officer had evidently tasered him, but unfortunately he had previously soaked himself in petrol. Seems that electricity and petrol soaked perpetrators turn into Roman candles pretty quickly.
Free Personalisation Service
16 September 2020
We have always branded our carts and consumables for our corporate clients. Ranging from full vinyl wrapping of our carts, to custom printed coffee sleeves. These usually tended to be prohibitively expensive for smaller weddings and parties. During the lockdown we have been examining all the services we offer. As a result we have now acquired a new equipment portfolio allowing us to print vinyl wraps, custom brand things like coffee cup sleeves and ice cream tubs. This allows us to offer a FREE catering personalisation service for smaller clients.
Ice Cream
Our ice cream branding is starting off with personalising the tubs and also providing drip catchers for the little ones. We have all seen the state kids can get themselves into at weddings with things like chocolate fountains and ice cream. This helps alleviate the ice cream problem at least.
We are also waiting on delivery of our new food printer which will allow us to add customised ice cream wafers.
Coffee
One of our favourite lines. We can provide small print runs of free cup sleeves with the happy couples names added. Additionally our new latte printer allows text or images to be added directly to the coffee foam, sure to go Instagram crazy.
Candy Floss
We have added a service to actually brand the candy floss up. Not the bags or tubs, but the actual floss you eat. At the minute its only monochrome but we are working on this.
We can also offer custom printed tubs, perfect as wedding favours or give aways.
Chestnuts
One of our most popular winter lines are roast chestnuts, the traditional paper bags can be branded in full colour.
Crepes
Crepes are usually served folded into a triangle. Our cones are another eye catching branding opportunity for weddings or events.
Crazy Golf
Score cards come branded as standard, and we can even brand the actual golf balls off. With the happy couples names for weddings, or a corporate logo for our company clients.
Napkins
Usable for pretty much any of our catering items, our quality airlaid napkins can be printed with corporate logo’s or sales messages, or with the names of the happy couple if its a wedding.
The Grim Reaper, Tales Of Misadventures
3 September 2020
This is a tale of disaster and destruction caused by a close friend of mind who is a dead ringer for the grim reaper. Let me introduce Fred. Fred is is the sort of guy that if you had a problem would be the first there to help you. If he had a £1 and you needed it more than him he would let you have it.
He does however have a couple of issues. First is his propensity to eat. By eat, I don’t mean take enough calories in to survive. I mean eat like a garbage disposal machine on steroids. He once went with a family group to an Indian restaurant. The waiter came to Fred first, took his order then started to leave. When another guest asked the waiter where he was going he replied “To the kitchen with your order.” No mate, that is Fred’s order, the rest of the table want food as well.
Claim To Fame
For a time he had a minor claim to fame at Harry Ramsdens Fish and Chip shop in Hong Kong. It seems they had a challenge, eat their special fish and chip dish and you got it for free. So Fred being Fred was up for the challenge. When it arrived they reported that it was the size of a small shark. It was huge, with a pile of chips you could have used for mountaineering exercise, and enough mushy peas to fill the moat at the Tower of London.
The waiter explained the rules, you had a set amount of time to eat it, you couldn’t share it etc. When he asked Fred if there was anything else he needed to know Fred told him, “Yes, can I have some slices of bread and butter please as I am quite hungry.” Suffice it to say Fred demolished the dish and ended up with his picture on the wall.
A Modern Day Frank Spencer
Fred’s other trait, is that he is a combination of the grim reaper and Frank Spencer. Now if you are too young to remember Frank, check this video out. Basically he was what could charitably be described as an idiot. He meant well, and tried his best, but whatever he did would set off a chain reaction that ended up in chaos and mayhem.
When the Challenger space shuttle exploded, Fred was in America. He was somewhere in the region when the tsunami hit a few years back. And I have no doubt that once scientists get to the bottom of Covid 19, Fred will be a link in the chain, probably with something he ate.
I was once with him at a Masonic social event, when 2 buttons popped off of his shirt, flew across the table and hit a guy in the eye. He promptly turned and punched a neighbour because he though he had attacked him. That’s the sort of thing Fred can create without even trying.
Fred and His Rides
Anyway, Fred owns a couple of children’s funfair rides, and occasionally we contract him in for jobs. A couple of days after one such contract Fred rang to tell me he had encountered a problem on the job. Now, my standing instructions are that problems are to be reported to me as soon as they happen so that I can contact the client and try and sort it out, rather than them ringing me days later upset. So I immediately went into a rant, questioning the marital status of Fred’s parents when he was born, and introducing him to some other Anglo Saxon phrases. In between a pause for breath, Fred interjected that it hadn’t actually happened on the job. Good, that calmed me down a bit. What he said happened was, well I will let Fred tell you in his own words!
The Pheasant
When I set off home in my transit van, towing the ride, the motorway was closed due to an accident, so my sat nav diverted me cross country. I was sat at a nice 60 mph, on a single carriageway road, when I hit a pheasant.
The said pheasant, was catapulted at high velocity, across the road, whereupon it happened to smack the lead rider, in a pair of cyclists, smack bang in the side of the head. He promptly disappeared over the edge of the road, and down a 20 ft embankment.
Now, I felt partially responsible for this state of affairs, so I pulled up to help him. Coming the other way, was a lovely elderly couple in a beautiful vintage car, that I later learnt from them, they had been 15 years restoring it to its current state. They also saw what had happened, and pulled up on the other side of the road.
I climbed down the bank with the other cyclist, his mate was a bit battered and shaky, his bike wheels were bent into weird shapes, so we helped him back up the bank, and then retrieved his bike.
The Incredible Hulk
The cyclist sat for a few minutes pulling himself together, then asked what had happened. I pointed at the pheasant, feebly twitching at the edge of the road and explained. The rider, stood up, then ran at the pheasant and booted across the road.
Straight into the path of a four door pick up truck. The driver instinctively swerved, and ran straight into the elderly couples vintage car. Turning it into a pile of parts scattered over a wide area.
As the pickup came to a stop, the door opened, and what can only be described as a white version of the incredible hulk unfurled himself from the interior. As he walked towards us all, he growled “I have just driven that out of the showroom, its my first ever brand new motor, I am on the way to show me mam, Where did that fu***ng bird come from?”
Exit Left
Deciding that I so wanted to continue living, I pointed at the cyclist, and said he kicked it. Mr Hulk, promptly hit him with a crashing right hand. That sent him over the edge and back down the embankment. He then proceeded to jump on the other cyclists bike in an attempt to create some modern art.
At this point I finally understood the phrase discretion is the better part of valour. Not wanting my initial part in the disaster to be brought up. I decided to test the acceleration of a transit van towing a ride to exit the area. Looking back as I set off, the second cyclist was clinging to the hulks neck, in a vain attempt to save his bike. The little old couple were sat crying by the roadside over their demolished car.
I don’t know why things like this keep happening to me!