Jarm69, Author at Crazy & Co.

Coronavirus Diary 30th March

30 March 2020

This isn’t going to be a coronavirus diary par se. Its more of an occasional ramble of what we are doing and thoughts about the way things are going. To be honest its more to give us something extra to do rather than being a serious social commentary.

Like everyone else we are in lockdown. Luckily our house is built on the side of our business premises, so we have a fairly secure 3 acre site to wander, rather than being stuck in a small gardenless house.

My significant other is starting to repaint all of our external fences. Tbh they don’t really need doing yet as she did them about 18 months ago, but she’s happy that it gives her a couple of weeks work to pass them time on.

My daughter, who hasn’t been speaking to me for a couple of weeks due to my refusal to let her make a trip to Birmingham, has come round a bit. We have decided to spend some of our time learning a language. After a bit of debate we have settled on sign language. We don’t interact with the hearing impaired all that often, but it would be nice to be able to show we have made the effort on the occasions we do.

Learning Something New

When we built the wild west stagecoach photo booth, we added quite a number of props to it. One of which was a ukulele (and indeed a banjo, because we were going to recreate the scene from deliverance). This has sat on the top shelf in the office for quite a while now. So I decided I am going to learn how to play it. Lol, by the end of the lockdown, I will either be a musician, or I will have a ukulele shaped dent in the back of my head.

Banjo player from deliverance — **Learning To Play**

We usually refurb our carts and equipment a couple of times a year. This enforced downtime will let us go through them all ready for when the events industry re emerges. It will also give us time to look at possible new ideas and lines to add for the forthcoming season.

I have just had a months stay in hospital where I ended up losing 2 stone. In truth I needed to lose a bit of weight, but that is probably half a stone too much. As soon as the remnants from my surgery heal up enough I intend to have a fairly heavy exercise regime, it would be nice to tone up and keep my weight down. We have a few basic items such as kettlebells so should be able to cobble together some basic exercise sets.

Woah boy overdoing the exercises a bit there.

Truth be told mentally I am not feeling the lockdown too much. When ever we were not at events, I always had plenty of promotional work to be doing on the computer, so I am just doing what I would normally do. It will let me get our blog and seo work well in front, and take the pressure off me once things get moving again.

The World At Large

In the wider world, I still can’t believe just how many people are totally ignoring instructions to stay in. The police broke up a party in Derby yesterday, where they had a disco and buffet, the full works. Are people really that stupid, or are they just plain ignorant.

I got into a debate with a guy I fly with, a liberal democrat activist who claims the government haven’t been clear enough about having to stop in. WTF, every time you turn the telly on it is telling you to stay in. Every other post on Facebook is tellling you the same, what more do people need, Zeppelins roaming the sky with the message painted on the side? What it really needs is the North Korean method. It was reported there that a guy refusing to isolate was shot. I bet that wouldn’t need too much promotion from the government before it was adhered to.

A Zeppelin — **Perhaps These Should Be Repainted With The Message STAY IN!**

So in summery everyone;

Stay SAFE

Stay IN

And check back for more ramblings from our Coronavirus diary.

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Fun Story

Sometimes The Simple Ideas Are The Best

23 March 2020

Sometimes the simple ideas are the best. I have just come out of a 5 week stay in hospital, to find scenes of carnage in the supermarkets. Toilet rolls (lord knows why), hand sanitiser, food all stripped from the supermarket shelves by hordes of the criminally stupid panic buying.

There are tales of older people and infirm distraught because they can’t buy anything. NHS and other key workers are similarly finishing shifts to find they also cannot buy any shopping. Civilisation is starting to fray around the edges.

Genius

There has been much talk of what the retailers should have been doing, limiting sales to so many per person, exclusive hours for older people etc.

One supermarket in Denmark has hit upon an idea so simple, yet so bloody effective.

Basically if you want to buy a bottle of hand sanitiser, it works out at around £5. If you want to buy more than 1 bottle, you can do, but the price then becomes £125 PER BOTTLE.

Brilliant, there is no argument at the till about limits or suchlike, you can buy as much as you want, as long as you are willing to pay for it.

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Fun Story

Apocalypse Now, 21 Days Later

19 March 2020

As I lay here in my hospital bed, connected up to drips and feeling the warm glow from my last shot of morphine, I can’t help feeling the sense of dread that is leaching through the walls as the apocalypse approaches..

Wait, I hear you cry, whats with the hospital bed? Well I would like to say things went like this. 3 weeks ago I was flying a Cessna (one of my hobbies to relax after a hard week), when my appendix unexpectedly burst. I heroically ignored the pain and managed to land safely, before being whisked away for emergency surgery.

Well, that’s what I would like to say, but the truth is a little more mundane. I was actually flying, and my appendix did actually burst. However the initial symptoms were mild indigestion, and I landed the plane without even noticing.

4 days later I was in severe pain and ended up at A & E. After a CT scan and some blood tests, they admitted me for emergency surgery. At this point I was still quite laid back. I knew the appendix was a useless organ so wasn’t too worried about losing it. It was only when a nurse commented on how well I looked for ‘someone seriously ill’, that I started to worry. A quick Google revealed that said useless appendix, could become a fatal appendix once burst.

Surgery

Surgery went well, although the surgeon commented it had been one of the worst cases she had dealt with. Unfortunately I then developed a massive after infection, and have been in here 3 bloody weeks. I am beginning to think it is easier to get out of prison, than hospital.

Anyway back to my first musings, when I came in, there were a handfull of Covid 19 cases in the UK, and a couple of deaths. 3 weeks later, reading the news reports and social media we appear to be on the verge of apocalypse. The expected deaths are being reported at anything from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands. Sport, outdoor events, pubs etc are being advised to close. People are fighting in the shops for supplies. Its like one of those movies where the hero becomes unconscious for a couple of weeks and when he wakes up society has collapsed!

Fashion

What I am worried about, is do we have to start dressing like they did in Mad Max above. If so how soon, can we like wear our normal cloths until they wear out. Or will we have to immediately wear the new styles.

Absurd? It is rather, but then again, is it anymore absurd than grown adults fighting over toilet roll. Some of the stocks people have they are going to need to crap hundreds of times a day to get anywhere near using it. Once this crisis is over, the poor toilet roll makers are going to be twiddling their thumbs for months whilst people use up the stocks they have.

Looking at some of the scenes we appear to have turned into a nation of Corporal Jones’s You know the character from Dads Army, who screams ‘Don’t panic, don’t panic’ whilst running around like a headless chicken in a blind panic. In some ways I think a zombie apocalypse might have been better. The supermarket shelves always seem full in a zombie apocalypse.

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Catering, Fun Story

Irn Bru and Its New Candy Floss Flavour

16 March 2020

We are always on the lookout for new flavours to add to our candy floss carts. But it seems that everyone else is looking for a way to make their product taste like candy floss, including Irn Bru.

Supermarkets started it with candy floss flavour grapes. Thorntons added candy floss flavoured truffle chocolates. Ann Summers even does a candy floss flavoured lube!

Irn Bru

Well now that famous Scottish drink, the one ‘Made from girders’, had been launched in a set of four limited edition flavours, including candy floss.

The public are being asked to vote for which of the flavours should hit the shelves. With the top 2 making it into production.

Some members of the public however are raising a stink about the new flavours. They insist that Irn Bru should go back to its original formula. When they removed the sugar it didn’t really do the taste any favours.

If you want to hire a candy floss cart, sadly without the Irn Bru, let us know.

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Catering, Fun Story

The Fluffy Cotton Candyfloss Tree – Katsu

12 March 2020

If you’ve ever been to the fairground then you’ll know just how strong the sweet smell of fluffy cotton candyfloss is and just how it looms and lingers in the air around! If you enter the fairground at one end it wouldn’t take you long to follow your nose and locate just where the fluffy cotton candyfloss is being made and served.

Many companies and brands have tried to bottle the smell and create fluffy cotton candyfloss candles, or lipsticks or hair products that are meant to fill your life with your own sweet smelling candyfloss but somehow it just doesn’t quite do the original product any justice. There’s even fluffy cotton candyfloss Grapes that are meant to slightly mirror the taste of a stick of fluffy cotton candyfloss.

Edinburgh Royal Botanical Garden

Edinburgh home to the Royal Botanical Garden has lately been overcome by a new delightful fragrance. The sweet smelling fragrance of fluffy cotton candy has filled the 70 acre grounds… No a fairground hasn’t set to work here. Nor have they lit scented candles around the area but in fact the smell comes from a live plant growing within the grounds. The Katsura or to an expert green finger gardener the technical name of Cercidiphyllum. The tree originates from japan and Chinese regions and is known for releasing a scent of burning sugar.

We have had some fantastic weather recently. As a result the tree emits a stronger than usual dose of the fragrance. With a lack of wind the smell has been congregating in the area. The smell of the fluffy cotton candy comes from the leaves of the tree. They emit a chemical compound called Maltol. As soon as you walk into the gardens you can smell the fragrance. The visitors to the garden looking around to find where the smell is coming from.

A Fluffy Candyfloss Tree in Germany

The Germans call the distinctive tree ‘Kuchenbaum’, which translates to ‘cake tree’.

Looking to hire a candy floss cart then we can help.

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Fun Story, General

Coronavirus, Problems Brings Opportunity.

8 March 2020

Coronavirus, another Chinese import. They say that every cloud has a silver lining. Well, its hard at the minute to see just where the Corvid-19 virus is going to present any advantages. There is talk of cancelling outdoor events throughout the country. This will devastate not only the funfair industry but also large parts of the outdoor events industry.

The virus itself is undoubtedly liable to kill large numbers of people. The NHS and other public services are predicted to be overwhelmed. The economy is going to talk a major hit.

Now we have the great British prats, opps, sorry, public panic buying things like toilet roll. WTF, as far as any of the reports suggest, the virus doesn’t give you diarrhea. So why the hell is everyone buying massive amounts of toilet paper?

Opportunities

Nevertheless, in the spirit of free enterprise, there are people taking advantage of the opportunities offered.

On the fairground, and seaside amusement arcades, the crane or ‘grabber machines’ have long been favourites. Basically, you have control of a 3 pronged grabber that you maneuver around the machine full of soft toys, then when you think its lined up you press the button. The grabber drops, grabs at the toys and hopefully manages to snag one for you. If you are lucky it carries the toy to the exit slot and drops it out to you.

In reality it tends to grab the toy and then drop it, the reason being the electromagnet controlling the grabber is set to be too weak to hold the weight of the toy. After the machine has taken a certain amount of money, it turns the magnet on full power and you will have a winner.

Toilet Rolls

With the panic buying of bog rolls, a number of enterprising operators have removed the soft toys from the machines and fill them with, yes, toilet rolls.

Who would have thought that one of the consequences of a worldwide coronavirus pandemic would be a shortage of toilet rolls.

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Fun Story

Royal Security, Not!

19 February 2020

There is a bit of an argument brewing about whether Prince Harry and Meghan should have publicly funded security provided. Well I dont want to argue the ins and outs of whether they deserve public money or not, but to be honest we have been involved with 3 events and found the security to be spectacular. Spectacularly bad that is.

Eton College Boating Lake

The first incident was a few years back when we provided a small children’s funfair in conjunction with the world rowing championships at Eton colleges boating lake in Dorney Park

Now the days the Royals were there, security consisted of seven rings. Radiating from the central point where royalty were sitting. You had to have appropriate passes to enter any particular ring. Being situated in the outer ring we had only level 1 passes.

One day, just after carrying out the daily checks, and a bit of maintenance on one of the rides, I went to the public toilets. These just happened to be near the gate for the next ring of security. I had a pair of overalls on to keep my cloths clean as I had been lubricating some moving parts. As I neared the entrance to level 2, the guy staffing the entrance, opened it to let me through.

Hmm, I wonder how far I could go. I actually walked through the first 5 levels, into level 6 before I chickened out. It was quite a lucrative contract, so I didn’t really want to lose it, but it opened my eyes, all you need to beat security like that is a pair of dirty overalls.

Princess Anne’s Helicopter

The second incident came when we again provided a small children’s funfair to the National Farmers Union Insurance company. They were opening their headquarters after a major refurbishment.

Now, we couldn’t set up until Princess Anne had taken off in her helicopter. Unfortunately she was running late, and I was panicking about being ready in time. I came up to the aircraft in question, and asked the security detail if I could fetch one of my cars up to unload it nearby, it would save me 5 minutes is all, but time was going to be tight.

The guys in the suits and ray bans had a quick conflab, then told me I was ok. I duly drove the car up, opened the boot, and discovered to my horror that my wife had stacked all the rifles off the shooting gallery in the back of the car, I smiled sickly as I slowly closed the boot, and told them it was ok, I would wait. Luckily they didn’t notice what was in there.

Agreed they were only air rifles, but they could have been actual assault rifles, and I could easily have shot the security staff then went looking for the Princess Royal.

Prince William And The Royal Birth

My favourite was during William and Kate’s last child being born. We had been contracted by Ladbrokes, the betting group to go down to the hospital where Kate was in labour. We were to give out tea and coffee to the paparazzi. Then when the baby was born, dispense copious amounts of Prosecco.

The brief from the client was that they didn’t have permission, and if the police objected we were just to leave, but they would still pay us.

When we turned up, the police were walking around with machine guns, yikes. I jumped out of the van, told the nearest copper what we were doing and that his guys/ladies and he could have tea and coffee whenever they wanted. He gave the thumbs up and we set up. Thing is, no one asked who gave us permission. Or even looked in our van to see if we had anything nasty in there.

It got even better. After the actual birth, we used our prosecco up, the client thanked us and told us we were free to pack up and go. Now, what we didn’t know was that the police had prevented any traffic moving in the vicinity of the hospital, as prince Williams motorcade was on its way in from Buckingham Palace.

Only, we were inside the cordon. We packed up jumped in the van and set off, straight around the corner and ran slap bang into the motorcade. Unfortunately our side of the road had a row of security fencing up so we couldn’t move over. As a result Prince William and all the following security vehicles had to drive up onto the pavement to squeeze past us. We were about 2 foot from the Prince, and could see his quizzical looks. We could also see the security officers and police in the following vehicles having apoplexy. Royal security not.

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Catering, Event Planning, Fun Story

Cannabis Candy Floss, A New High

16 February 2020

Long one of our most popular desserts. A Californian (where else) company is taking it to new heights with cannabis candy floss.

Candy floss is now available from them laced with THC, or to give it the correct name Tetrahydrocannabinol .

For those who don’t know, this just happens to be the ‘active’ ingredient in cannabis. The bit that gives you the high.

The new floss, comes with a full 100mg of active ingredient present. Enough to give a new meaning to the phrase party snack.

Now, we aren’t going to argue the morality or otherwise of such a product. TBH we very much doubt its going to appear in the UK.

A few years ago the medical establishment was experimenting with using candy floss to deliver drugs to kids. Laughing at the time we wondered how long it would be before someone launched floss with recreational drugs.

Perhaps our new range of alcohol flavoured candy floss might be more palatable. Especially considering they are flavoured but don’t actually contain any active alcohol. We are launching with Brandy, Whisky and Gin, but if the reception is good enough will be expanding it over the summer season.

It makes you wonder though what cannabis can be added to next, there is likely to be a steady stream of food and drink coming this way.

Sadly we aren’t yet allowed to offer cannabis floss, but if you would like to hire a candy floss cart then we can help.

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Photo Booths

Our Black Cab Photo Booth At Joe Macaris

15 February 2020

We recently provided a classic black cab photo booth for a birthday party. At the Joe Macari car dealership in London.

Now this isn’t just any old dealership. A quick look at his stock inventory will show a who’s who of classic high end cars. Lamborghini Countach, Jaguar E Type, Ferrari California, the list just goes on.

Really its like a petrol heads dream. He even has some quirky items like the Lamborghini LM002 SUV, of which only about 328 were ever produced. Or how about a Lambo tractor.

Classic Black Cab Photo Booth

We installed a black cab photo booth. After setting it all up, the boss told his car detailer to polish it up. He started and laughed to me that he had cleaned some of the worlds most exclusive cars, but that was his first ever London taxi.

Whilst on this job, a stunningly attractive Indian lady came up, accompanied by what looked like a throwback to a 1960’s groupie. Slicked back hair and the works. She looked at me and exclaimed, “Do you know what he did last week?”,

“No Idea” I Said,

“He took a porn star to a red carpet event!”

Laughing he said yes, she was off fake taxi dot com. His companion inquired as to what that might be, to be told that its a porn site. Where a taxi cab exactly like ours drives around London picking up beautiful women. Who just happen to want the driver to climb in the back with them and, well you can figure out the rest.

“Yes”, I said to break the tension, “I have been driving around all day and not been stopped once!”.

“Thats OK mate he replied, I will give you the number for my friend”

Lol, before I could comment his companion, replied “I can do better than that, I will give him my number and he can come and pick me up.”

Funny thing was he didn’t seem to be too impressed by that. As I walked away for a drink they were just firing the starting salvos of what promised to be an acrimonious argument.

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Photo Booths

Restoring Our Mini, Some Of The Little Bits

11 February 2020

Restoring our Mini is continuing. Most of the larger parts are with various experts to be sorted out. Meanwhile we have been tidying up some of the smaller pieces, which are necessary to put the icing on the cake and make our Mini something special.

Steering Column

The original column was a bit tatty, plus the steering boss was falling apart, and the steering wheel had seen better days.

We stripped the column down, shot blasted it then zinc galved and coated it with black anti rust topcoat.

The plastic column was replaced entirely as the old one had been drilled a number of times to insert screws to hold the broken indicator stalk.

The original boss was broken, well the plastic surround. We had intended upgrading the steering wheel to a Momo version, so needed a new boss as the hole pattern was different.

Our New Momo Steering Wheel, complete with uprated racing quality boss.

Whilst we were on the renewal war path, we also added some nifty billet alloy indicator stalk ends. These are made by a classic mini owner in limited quantities and really add a touch of class.

Finishing the steering column off was a new column drop bracket. This came from the range created by DSN retrosport. The quality as always is absolutely fabulous.

DSN Retrosport Steering Column Drop Bracket

Finishing our days work off, we managed to get the fuel tank coated with an anti rust top coat. Restoring our mini, has admittedly become a bigger job than we realised, but we are three parts through it now.

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